The light that drew me to the verge, seems was meant to attrite me and make me feel bad and change. My issue of being happy, a smiling face and convivial cheerful joyful state doesn’t go coherent with all that is happening. Seems like its great depression in my life. But, no problem, it is not yet time to give up hope. Will try to be happy for a longer time, lets see what future has in store for me.