Yesterday in mess during lunch i was in a hurry to have my ofcourse lunch, so i was rushing through the daily ordeal of picking up plate filling it with the subsidiaries like salad, onion, pickle, and then a spoon, but as these have become my reflexes i don’t even look at what i am taking or even what amount. So, when i moved forward in line to get my dish filled with the not-so-aromatic and “non-yummylicious” vegetables and curd the messwala bhaiya pointed out that the spoon was twisted.
I was sent into a trance as I saw the twisted spoon. What is it that I am doing, totally turned into machine by the system, food the only passion that i enjoy other than writing has also become a bloody fucking reflex. Eating was like sex to me, much better from all the physical pleasures you can get. Eating good food is like “Tantric sex”, the horrible mess food had already destroyed my taste food from first year itself but then my fucking nervous system.
Then the thought of what is actually wrong started gushing my mind. What is wrong is the control I am loosing on my surrounding and I think all of us are loosing. We let the situations, the daily procession decide what will happen next each and every moment. Sometimes i doubt are we really living in a matrix like world or not, but whomsoever is the architect, he’s definitely fucked up in his mind as this world what he has developed is nothing but a paradoxical, ambiguous, a-Pandora mistake in short fucked up.
There is nothing real it seems, people have been predicting that robots will be controlling our lives true but those robots wont be the mechanical-electronic machines but us. We have so much let go of ourselves, we let the unimportant, uneasy, nonsense situations decide our mood. And, I am even doubtful if we even have anymore doubts and feelings as it seems that whatever crap is flying around makes decisions for us.
I wanna say, No. No to the crap being fed to me, both my stomach and my mind. My body and my soul are not some shit-hole, but pristine pious temple that needs immediate and immaculate actions not some rhetorical crap that makes it suffer more. I cry, I shout from inside, but am made to smile cause the world is ending if not. 2012 will not be by sun or global warming but by us humans, us robots trying to fuck our world.
I shout and start throwing things and then I hear loud gasps and shrill cries, and wake up then i see a horrible scene, destruction that i mounted, my curd and vegetables on the ground, people behind telling me to do stuff like fuck off, jerk off, etc. etc. but what happenes