Permanence of Happiness!

When i was a kid i was told, “your purpose in life is to provide and be happy about it”.

LIFE!

LIFE!

Life was never discussed as something fluid, something that takes it course and lets you flow around but was explained as an incident, an instance that happens to you when it happens, and these instances these moments, summed up make your life. But it was always expressed that these instances of past or present are what will define you and your future, which makes it altogether paradoxical as life then automatically becomes fluid.

If these instances are what defines our present and our future then permanence of happiness is not just a myth but a complete lie told to us by the world. Life as it takes its course, sets things into motion unknown to us, like a huge domino of which we can’t see the end but we know will end up in a loud thunderous fall.

But an evaluation of life (maybe during midlife crisis) makes you weigh your options, is happiness your final aim or is it satisfaction that helps you attain Nirvana? Though sometimes stated as the same thing, satisfaction and happiness are two different emotions and result in different kind of emotional triggers.

Satisfaction, an emotion of desire, maybe more than happiness to some is the universal king of emotions. Satisfaction is a sense of completeness, a sense of being healthy, a sense of stagnation, a sense of relativity. It helps us survey the world and not compare our life with it being a parameter of evaluation. It helps us realise that life is mortal and mostly unimportant to others. It never makes us question our decision as the instances that occurred or the flow behind us that pushed to this point is the point of nirvana, a point of satisfaction. A state of calm, a harbinger of peace. It’s an emotion that works like a dam, it stops the flow of life but draws the power of its potential and makes it work for you.

Happiness, though most popular and most sought after emotion is not the king of emotions. It’s not permanent, it’s not stagnant, you can’t stop it, its fluid like life, but relative, it flows ahead of you and may meet up with you later while you are busy fighting the waves and trying to be afloat. Happiness doesn’t stay with you like a loved partner, its like a loved one who doesn’t love you back. It’s like a mother who doesn’t nurse, its like a gust of wind which rustles you up but is suddenly gone in seconds. Happiness is generally the root of all evil. It is like a shot of energy as when inhaled causes utter sunshine in life but when lost crashes badly and brings out the worst in humanity.

Happiness shouldn’t be sought after, as it will always comes and goes in our life. Satisfaction, though an emotion impossible to be permanent in an ever-changing world of emotions, is something to cherish and to harbinger. Happiness makes man go on quests which sometimes lead to the fall of civilization, whereas satisfaction is a quest that defines not just us but the society, the people around us. Satisfaction is like the love that never leaves us, once attained, its like the air that’s always around you.

Thus in my life i seek to attain a level of satisfaction and not permanence of happiness. What do you seek?

Blood Hounds

P.S. : Something very personal and close to my heart, please be sensitive to this, and I hope you can’t connect to it.

Cut me, hurt me, kill me I’m so bad; sinner I am, I fight, I scream, I shout, the love in me is profound.

Hate me, hurt me, I’m still around, I’m still abound, I’m wrong, still strong.

I’m not backing down, turn on me; change the voices in my head.

Shatter the glass, empty the jug, refill the acid, fuel with vinegar.

Demons

Satan

Undying souls are trying so hard, free us satan, cry, cry, cry;

So hungry, ready to devour, weaklings roam the planet, hurt and pathetic they prowl.

Cut me, bleed me, empty my veins, fill them with vinegar, how bad can it be?

I spew acid, I spew pain, I spread hatred, all disdain.

Love, touch, smile, all emotions wasted,

Garbage bags filled with hopes and dreams, filled with one’s pursuit for dreams unstated

Creamy and foamy, sheik and classy demons abound us, all around us

Suck the blood out of our veins, hurt us, at least less than our loved ones

Horns on your head, tail on your back, hide it as bad as you can

I can see them from even from miles away, the evil you are, less than what I imagined it could be

It’s far less because my tail is longer than you,

My wallet is filled with the golden shillings; give it to the rower to take you back

Fire, heat, burning sensations, better than the touch of the ones around

The wounds of the former heal quicker than that of the latter ones

Hounds scratch my doors, paw marks all over my door and face,

My soul is scarred, stretch marks from your loss, and blood stains on the sheets

Your touch, the warmth of your breath down my neck is all I crave

Hate me, hit me, make it hurt, throw me around, toss me around

A shot in the arm is easy to take than one in the heart, and a dagger in the back